How I Know I’m Not in Crystal Lake, Illinois?

By Anastasia Gruper

*People walking out number the people driving.
*I am perplexed and amazed at the weight people are able to carry on their heads.
*A rooster and I compete to be the first one to see the sun rise.
*I stand in awe of one of the Seven Wonders of the World while being drenched.
*Baboons walk next to me, and I fear may even take the sunglasses out of my hand.
*I plan by headlamp every night while the power is out.
*A power outage is a celebration of the night sky.
*My bright white legs look tan from the dirt embedded in my skin.
*It takes me an extra five minutes to figure out how much everyone owes for a dinner that costs k2,553.00.
*There are no strollers to be seen; chitenge anyone?
*Speed bumps appear out of nowhere…
*Nshima makes a delicious utensil for picking up other parts of my meal.
*Morning tea is not an option, no matter what, everything else can wait.
*Old tires make great toys.
*AM and PM do not exist; it is 14:33.
*100km is an average speed on the highway as opposed to 2km in the compound alleys.
*Wi-Fi is a luxury; a means of communication rather than entertainment.
*It is not necessary to eat and move at the speed of lightening; everything will get done whenever it does, relax…
*It is not a good idea to call home to Crystal Lake when it is noon Zambia; it’s only five am there.
*A routine police check point is a time for pleasantries.
*The cow on the side of the road may be saying, “after you madam.”

7 thoughts on “How I Know I’m Not in Crystal Lake, Illinois?

  1. What an amazingly eye-opening post for me to read. You all are true inspirations to me. I look forward to using your work to touch many lives. God Bless you all. Looking forward to reading more!

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